Week 10: Lawyers Jokes

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money.

The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers... we had $100 when we broke in!"

http://www.comedy-zone.net/jokes/laugh/lawyers/law1.htm

What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.

http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/jokes/jokes_lawyers.htm#Lawyer_Jokes_

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

http://brainden.com/lawyer-jokes.htm

God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all.
When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

http://www.kabish.com/jokes/lawyer.php

Week 7 EOC: 10 Lawyers and Website

1.       Jack Bernstein & Associate (www.bernsteinslaw.com)     

2.       Lewis and Roca (www.lrlaw.com)

3.       Gold & Rizi (http://www.idea-attorneys.com/)

4.       McCormick Barstow LLP (www.mccormickbarstow.com)

5.       Fox Rothchild (http://www.foxrothschild.com/)

6.       Greenberg Traurig, LLP (http://www.gtlaw.com/)

7.       Morishita Law Firm, LLP (http://www.morishitalawfirm.com/)

8.       Dillion G. Coil (http://www.emblaw.com/)

9.       Craig Friedburg (http://consumerlaw.justia.net/)

10.   William C Devine II (http://www.raineylegal.com/)

Week 7 EOC: Intellectual Property Questions

1. How do I know what form of intellectual property protection is available for my work?
2. How "original" does my work have to be to merit copyright protection?
3. How do I know if I can protect my business information as a trade secret?
4. How much of my work is protected under a copyright?
5. How can I prove that there has been an infringement on my copyright?
6. Are there specialized courts in the United States that hear intellectual property claims?
7. What is required for me to pursue an action for the appropriation of an intellectual property?
8. The name of my company was approved when I incorporated - Doesn't that mean I am free to use that name as a trademark?
9. Does Copyright protection extend overseas?
10. What are the damages for copyright infringement?

Week 5 EOC: Lawyers Looking For Fame

My first reaction to the statement of lawyers looking for fame is “of course.” Lawyers are often viewed as a bunch of succubus that feed of the desperation of individuals to further their own careers. However, I pose the question to you (the reader) who among us do not want to be successful in their chosen profession. As someone who is focusing his studies on interior design if given the opportunity to design a room in White House (free of charge) I would do it in a heartbeat. The potential clients I would gain from would be worth it. I could literally write my own ticket in the interior design world picking and choosing what project I would want to take on next. In article written by Michael Hurd for Capitalism Magazine in the fall of 1999 he writes “This idea rests on an incorrect definition of selfishness. Selfishness means acting in one's rational self-interest. By “rational" I mean that one can logically prove that an action is in one's self-interest--in the long run as well as the short run.” One would be hard pressed to find an individual who does not act in their own rational self-interest. I do not feel that David M. Gossett was wrong or even unempathic for taking a case that would grant him a certain degree of notoriety. Ironically, the immigration groups that were so furious in essence were just self-severing Gossett because it may do damage to their cause. Henry Ward Beecher (Liberal US Congregational minister, 1813-1887) was quote as stating that “Selfishness is that detestable vice which no one will forgive in others and no one is without in himself.” I think Mr. Gossett or any lawyers for that matter made every effort to win his case because I do not know of any lawyer who wants to lose a case. I feel he made the most of the opportunity that was presented to him. Not that I am a fan but Rush Limbaugh has been quoted as saying “If you’re working to make the playing field fair and level, you’re working for the wrong reasons. Work to take the opportunity that arises and use your individual talents to excel at those opportunities.” In conclusion we all are quick to point a finger when think a lawyer is taking advantage of a less than fortunate individual and says he is scum for doing so. However, ask yourself this question “who have you step over to achieve a goal?”

Week 4 EOC: Death Race Jeopardy

The Death Race Jeopardy was a very unique way of learning definition. It actually made learn the definition in order to create a suitable question and answer. Also listening and reading my classmates answer, which in some cases close to what I had written for my own project, only reinforced the definition in mind. For instance; abandonment of patent application which came up quite a few times during the game means that if an applicant fails to response in a timely manner to an action or request initiated by the United States Patent and Trademark Office then it is considered abandon. Other definition that came up frequently was misuse of patent which refers to the use of a patent in a manner that violates federal patent or antitrust laws may result in the patent being declared invalid or unenforceable by the court. I also learned that there are two basic types of patents claims: independent and dependent. Independent claims are statements that stand by themselves. Dependent claims are statements that rely on another claim for part of their description. This project also educated me on court case that I otherwise would not have learned. Such as Graham v. John Deere which created the guidelines for determining when an invention is nonobvious (which I think is only word in the context of discussing patent and trademarks…lol). Speaking of nonobvious it is define as the ability of the invention to produce unexpected or surprising new results. Something I learned in the process of doing this project that now stuck in my head. All in all “Death Race Jeopardy” was a great way to learn and retain definition. Now I am not saying I remember everything I wrote or everything I heard but I certainly recall more doing this exercise that I would have otherwise.

Week 3 EOC: Jeopardy- Challenges and Opportunities

   Jeopardy is defined as hazard or risk of exposure to loss, harm, death or injury. I only mention that to say the word itself evokes challenges by the images that may come to mind. However, as it relates to this week’s assignment lucky there is no risk of death or injury if something is not done correctly (lol). The assignment of recreating the popular tv show in order to study definition is a great way of making learning interesting. The issue with that is learning the definition. Not only do you have to know the definition but you have to be able to paraphrase it so it becomes a Jeopardy-like question. That alone in and of itself is a daunting task. But I also have to consider if my fellow classmates will be able to answer the questions. This makes the assignment harder because I have to “double think”. By double think I mean I have to think what I am going to write for the “answer” in way that others will be able to decipher the “question” just like the game show. It is not an impossible task by any means it just requires a little more brain power to accomplish the task. Obviously, it is doable task because the writers of the tv show do it every day with great success I might add. So that is mindset I am taking as I come up with “answers” for the “questions”.

The opportunities involved in an assignment such as this is walking away having actually learning something from it and hopefully others will have learned something from me. Of course, I am realistic and I know that nobody is going to remember everything everyone else did for the assignment. However, if at some obscure time and place either I or someone in the class remembers information I provided then mission accomplished.

Week 2 EOC: What Do You Think About Lawyers?

When a person or groups of people are asked what word or words do they associate with lawyers? Generally you will get a negative response. Words such as snake-oil salesman, liars, or the devil may come to mind. Be that as it may, my personal opinion of them is that they are no worst than the rest of humanity. Most of them, I feel, are all about the money instead of helping the individual or individual that come to them for assistance. However, love them or hate them you cannot fault them for making a living. Of course they are going to be self-serving but aren't we all when we are providing a service for someone else. I think “we” (and by we I mean society as a whole) portray lawyers so negatively has nothing to do with them as a person (although some warrant our loathing) as it does with the law itself. The law is what is flawed and deserves our hate. It allows for murderers, thieves, drug dealers and all other criminal deviants to go free at the expense of the innocent.  The law has many loop wholes imbedded in it that allows (in some cases) the innocent to get prosecuted and the guilty to go free. It allows for the meek to continually to suffer at the hands of the wicked (especially where big business is concerned).  Lawyers are merely the instrument. You cannot hate the drum because the drummer is bad. As with anything in life we as humans need something or someone to blame when things get screwed up. Lawyers have a real tough job interpreting the law; a job the rest of would find extremely boring and monotonous.   So I pose these questions to you (the reader). Do lawyers take on cases they know they can win or at least get recognized for? Do lawyers manipulate the law in order to win a case? Are they in it for the money? The answer to all these questions is “Hell Yeah”. But I submit who among us isn’t doing the same thing in our daily lives.